“Love is not just about finding the right person, but creating the right relationship. It’s not about how much love you have in the beginning, but how much love you build until the end.” – Jumar Lumapas
Couples fight for various reasons, and it’s normal for disagreements to happen.
However, some reasons tend to crop up more often than others. Here are the top four reasons why couples mostly fight:
- Communication breakdown:
Communication is an essential aspect of any relationship, and when it breaks down, it can cause misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and conflicts. Couples who struggle to communicate effectively often argue over things that could have been resolved with better communication.
For instance, one partner may feel neglected or unappreciated if the other partner doesn’t communicate their needs or feelings effectively. In contrast, the other partner may feel frustrated if their partner doesn’t listen to them. To avoid communication breakdowns, couples must practice active listening, empathize with each other, and express their thoughts and feelings openly and honestly.
- Differences in priorities or goals:
Couples with different priorities or goals often have disagreements, leading to fights. For example, one partner may prioritize financial stability, while the other partner may prioritize personal growth and adventure. These differences can cause tension, significantly if the partners don’t compromise or work together to find common ground. Therefore, couples need to discuss their priorities and goals openly, respect each other’s choices, and find ways to support each other’s aspirations. - Unresolved conflicts of the Past:
Past conflicts or unresolved hurts can cause resentment and bitterness, leading to more arguments. For instance, a partner may feel hurt or betrayed if their significant other cheated on them or broke their trust. If they don’t address these issues, they may continue to bring them up in future arguments, causing further damage to the relationship. Therefore, couples need to address past hurts and conflicts as soon as they arise, seek forgiveness, and work towards rebuilding trust. - Stress and External pressures:
Stress and external pressures such as work, financial issues, and family responsibilities can cause tension and arguments in a relationship. Couples under pressure may lash out at each other or become irritable, leading to fights. Therefore, couples need to identify external pressures that may be affecting their relationship and work together to manage them. For instance, they may need to set aside time for relaxation and self-care, seek support from friends or family, or seek professional help.
9 Essential Tips for Building Healthy Relationships

- Communication is the key – Learn to communicate effectively, actively listen, and express your feelings and thoughts clearly and respectfully.
- Practice empathy and try to understand your partner’s perspective. Don’t dismiss or belittle their feelings; avoid blaming or accusing them.
- Avoid making assumptions and clarify misunderstandings as soon as possible.
- Set boundaries and respect each other’s personal space and individuality.
- Learn to compromise and find solutions that work for both of you.
- Take responsibility for your own actions and avoid playing the victim or blaming your partner.
- Don’t hold grudges or bring up past conflicts during arguments.
- Show appreciation and gratitude for your partner regularly, and make time for meaningful activities and quality time together.
- Seek help from a therapist or counsellor if you are struggling with communication, trust issues, or other problems in your relationship.
In short, all couples fight for various reasons, and some reasons tend to crop up more often than others. Communication breakdown, differences in priorities or goals, unresolved conflicts or past hurts, and stress and external pressures are some of the top reasons why couples mostly fight. However, with open communication, empathy, compromise, forgiveness, and support, couples can work through their differences and build stronger, healthier relationships.